GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground regarding this chicken.
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
Although I originally voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
That chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross!
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
The chicken crossed the road because the chicken was gay - isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken went across the road,
But as for the reason, I've not been told.
The chicken crossed the road to die in the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
It was an historic inevitability that the chicken would cross the road.
The chicken crossed the road to boldly go where no chicken had ever gone before.
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
I have just released eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook...and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. And what is your definition of chicken, anyway?
I invented the chicken!
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken "THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD." And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Did I miss one?
Friday, May 2, 2008
GEORGE W. BUSH