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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Chalk hits a teacher on her stomach

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In a class one day after the bell had rang it took some time for the next teacher yo come to class. So the students began to play chalk fight. Initially it started off with a few guys but later on more and more kept joining in and later on it was like a war being fought with chalks.

After a while the teacher whose lecture it was made her way to the class. Now this particular teacher was pregnant. On opening the class door one of the boys aiming to hit is friend threw the chalk hard but it missed the friend and went and hit the teacher on her stomach.

The teacher gave a slight scream ahhh cause it hit her pretty hard. The teacher then got really angry. There was silence in the class. The teacher then asked in a loud voice. "Who is responsible for this??" From the middle one of the students going unnoticed said a bit loud "Your Husband"

The whole class burst out laughing. Hahahahaha

I hope you'll get the joke Wink

Monday, April 27, 2009


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Amazing English Language Oddities

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25. “Rhythms” is the longest English word without the normal vowels, a, e, i, o, or u.

24. Excluding derivatives, there are only two words in English that end -shion and (though many words end in this sound). These are cushion and fashion.

23. “THEREIN” is a seven-letter word that contains thirteen words spelled using consecutive letters: the, he, her, er, here, I, there, ere, rein, re, in, therein, and herein.

22. There is only one common word in English that has five vowels in a row: queueing.

21. Soupspoons is the longest word that consists entirely of letters from the second half of alphabet.

20. “Almost” is the longest commonly used word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

19. The longest uncommon word whose letters are in alphabetical order is the eight-letter Aegilops (a grass genus).

18. The longest common single-word palindromes are deified, racecar, repaper, reviver, and rotator.

17. “One thousand” contains the letter A, but none of the words from one to nine hundred ninety-nine has an A.

16. “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.

15. Cwm (pronounced “koom”, defined as a steep-walled hollow on a hillside) is a rare case of a word used in English in which w is the nucleus vowel, as is crwth (pronounced “krooth”, a type of stringed instrument). Despite their origins in Welsh, they are accepted English words.

14. “Asthma” and “isthmi” are the only six-letter words that begin and end with a vowel and have no other vowels between.

13. The nine-word sequence I, in, sin, sing, sting, string, staring, starting (or starling), startling can be formed by successively adding one letter to the previous word.

12. “Underground” and “underfund” are the only words in the English language that begin and end with the letters “und.”

11. “Stewardesses” is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.

10. Antidisestablishmentarianism listed in the Oxford English Dictionary, was considered the longest English word for quite a long time, but today the medical term pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is usually considered to have the title, despite the fact that it was coined to provide an answer to the question ‘What is the longest English word?’.

9. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

8. There are many words that feature all five regular vowels in alphabetical order, the commonest being abstemious, adventitious, facetious.

7. The superlatively long word honorificabilitudinitatibus (27 letters) alternates consonants and vowels.

6. “Fickleheaded” and “fiddledeedee” are the longest words consisting only of letters in the first half of the alphabet.

5. The two longest words with only one of the six vowels including y are the 15-letter defenselessness and respectlessness.

4. “Forty” is the only number which has its letters in alphabetical order. “One” is the only number with its letters in reverse alphabetical order.

3. Bookkeeper is the only word that has three consecutive doubled letters.

2. Despite the assertions of a well-known puzzle, modern English does not have three common words ending in -gry. Angry and hungry are the only ones.

1. “Ough” can be pronounced in eight different ways. The following sentence contains them all: “A rough-coated, dough-faced ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough, coughing and hiccoughing thoughtfully.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Little Johnny - The salesman

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The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Sally was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."

"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467," cried the teacher, "what in the world were you selling?"

"Tooth brushes," said Little Johnny. "Tooth brushes," echoed the teacher, "how could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a Chip and Dip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing... 'Hey, this tastes like ~love~!'

Then I would say, "It is ~love~. Wanna buy a toothbrush?" ......... .

Friday, April 17, 2009

Dear Dad....

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Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I m writing you, but I m leaving home.I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I ve been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you ll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it s not only the passion Dad, I m pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway,42 isn tso old these days is it?),and has no money, really these things shouldn t stand in the way of our relationship,don t you agree? Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he ll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that s now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn t really hurt anyone and he ll be growing it for us and we ll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don t worry Dad, I m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I m sure we ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I m over at the neighbour s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that s in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!!!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Amazing Optical Illusion

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Man calls police after marijuana plants stolen

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Man calls police after marijuana plants stolen, will you be like this man ?...

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Happy Valentine Day Dear

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Thursday, April 9, 2009

I, Computer

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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Paid to Make his Friends Wife Pregnant.. and Failed

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A true story from Germany
Paid to Make his Friends Wife Pregnant.. and Failed

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Before and After Marriage Actions

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John: Ah..At last. I can hardly wait!
Jane: Do you want me to leave?
John: No! don't even think about it
Jane: Do you love me?
John: Of Course! Always did and always will
Jane: Have you ever cheated on me?
John: No!Why are you even asking?
Jane: Will you kiss me?
John: Every chance I get!
Jane: Will you hit me?
John: Hell no! Are you crazy?
Jane: Can I trust you?
John: Yes
Jane: Darling


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