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Sunday, December 23, 2007

How to Talk to Your Child about Jamie Lynn Spears

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Here are some questions that your child is likely to ask, followed by the correct answers.

How did Jamie Lynn Spears get pregnant?
According to her mom, Jamie Lynn was a good girl who always respected her curfew and girls like that usually don't get pregnant. So the answer is, no one knows.

Could Kevin Federline have made Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant?
No. This is one of those rare instances when someone got pregnant and Kevin Federline was not involved.

Now that Jamie Lynn is pregnant, will Zoey, the character she plays on Nickelodeon, get pregnant, too?
No. Remember, Jamie Lynn is a real person and Zoey is just a made-up character. Plus, Nickelodeon is owned by an angry old man named Sumner Redstone who doesn't let people get pregnant. So there is absolutely no way Zoey will get pregnant. Instead, Zoey will get cancelled.

Could Hannah Montana get pregnant?
I thought we already went through this. Hannah Montana isn't a real person. She's a character played by Miley Cyrus.

Okay, then could Miley Cyrus get pregnant?

No, because her dad's always around and he creeps boys out.

Are the girls on Disney's High School Musical pregnant?

No, the girls on Disney's "High School Musical" are not pregnant. They have been too busy posing for naked pictures on the Internet to get pregnant.

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