Women's Dictionary For Men

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish................49
Adventurous................Slept with everyone
Athletic................No tits
Average looking................Ugly
Beautiful.........Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure...............On medication
Feminist................Fat
Free spirit................Junkie
Friendship first................Former slut
Fun................Annoying
New Age................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned................No BJs
Open-minded................Desperate
Outgoing................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................Sloppy drunk
Professional................Bitch
Voluptuous................Very Fat
Sociable Drinker..........2 Drinks and I am anybody's
Large frame................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker


WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think
about?


MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
7. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay


A recent scientific study found that women find different male Faces
attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For
example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged,
masculine features.

And when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set
on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up
his ass.