Tech Support Encounters Dumb Customers

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No,wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my
desk... sorry....


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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello.. I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try,

it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in

front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


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Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.


Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer: can't get on the Internet.


Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?


Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.


Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?


Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?


Customer: Netscape.


Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.


Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.



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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.




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Tech support: How may I help you?


Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.


Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?


Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
circle around it?



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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.


Tech support: Are you running it under windows?


Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is
working fine."





And last but not least...





Tech support:"Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."


Customer: I don't have a P.


Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.


Customer: What do you mean?


Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.


Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!