Voodoo Penis

A girl walks into a sexshop and she looks around.
She sees many toys but she doesnt know which one to pick.
So she walks up to the counter and asks the storeowner what the best dildo is at this time.
The owner shows her a few models but she isnt satisfied.
Then the owner says that he has this new model, just out on the market: The Voodoopenis.
He explains her how to use it.
You have to throw it up in the air, say its name twice and name the place you want it to 'work on'.
The woman buys it, gets in her car and takes off.
While driving she realises that the man told a pretty unbelievable story, but she decides to give it a try.
She throws it up in the air and says: VoodooPenis, VoodooPenis between my legs.
The VoodooPenis responds immedeately. While driving the woman is almost reaching an orgasm and starts drivin like a nutjob.
A cop spots her and after a small chase he pulls her over. He walks up to her car and asks if she drank too much.
She replies that its not due to drinking but because of her voodoopenis.
The cop offcourse doesnt believe it and replies: VoodooPenis? VoodooPenis my ass!!

DOCTORS VISIT

An older man goes in for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along.

When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"

The wife yells back to him, "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR!"